I wrote myself a dirty letter last night. I’ve been subtly going through a bit of a metamorphosis and last night was the jump start to something bigger.
In recent years, fifteen or so, I’ve noticed changes occurring in me, both physical and mental. I started drifting away from the level of perfection I felt I had achieved at age 21. I used to read, religiously. I use to draw more than I used to breathe air. I used to exercise out of fun. I got rid of all those activities and replaced them with sleeping, eating and playing video games.
So last night I sat down at my dining room table and penned my future self a letter of discouragement. I wrote mostly everything I hated about myself. And I got real rude. I’m pretty sure this sort of thing could be seen as self sabotaging or self destructive, but I really think it’s time that I invest in change. June Jamale is in for a rude awakening if he didn’t get his shit together.
I’m excited, but admittedly a bit scared that I’ll flake. That’s my typical response to anything that requires minor amounts of self discipline. I’ll go “balls in” for approximately four days and then end up crying into a pepperoni pizza and wiping my nose with the crust. I’m hoping this time will be different. I’m hoping to do some great things. It’s my Jae Renaissance! It’s time to chop the head off the bourgeoise, paint some sexy church ceilings, and reclaim the culture within my urban city. Its time to be great, again, for the first time, like I used to be…lol. I love you guys.