I did that thing again. I found a reason to stay away for months on in and not check in with you guys. I’m terrible at this sort of thing. You’re probably my most consistent relationship and I constantly find reasons to subject you to months of neglect.
Well, I’m back. I wish I had something exciting to talk about, but it’s another case of “SSDD.” For those not in the “know,” that stands for “same [stuff], different day,” and I’m definitely dealing with the same stuff.
I used to joke about running away from everything, but it’s starting to feel more like a personal promise to myself. The great escape—I’d let everything fall to the ground wherever it currently stood and disappear as all the debris settled. Every burden released in a single moment. But perhaps it shouldn’t come to that just yet. I’ve been making small changes in my life to regain some semblance of control and comfort and I’m hoping that they pay off.
A new friend of mine has gotten me excited about writing again. And another friend of mine is unknowingly helping me feel passionate about the small things in life. I was getting so used to everything being grey, but a subtle hint of color is starting to come in to view; and I think I like it.
I honestly do not know what to say. Things are, muffled? I’m not sure if that’s the best word, but it definitely describes how I’m feeling. Maybe I just need some coffee. Not sure if I’m sleepy, or just yawning from depression.