Today feels like another tepid venture into the world of office antics and desk talk. I can already smell the unmistakable scent of burnt coffee grounds and fresh toner cartridges in the brisk morning air. The “suit and tie” brigade have amassed to ensure that my day is full of meetings and employee birthday parties in the break room. Ugh. I’m going to have to slice things up.

Most of my day will be spent hiding above the ceiling tiles sweeping little bits of rodent poop down into the coffee mugs of my coworkers. It’s a blast. It’s my favorite pastime. There’s nothing more enjoyable than stealthily dropping bits of mouse chocolate into their drinks. I’m getting all jittery just thinking about it.

I can just see Martha’s face….as she chews on the little unexpected chocolate chip that she finds in her Colombian roast. Damn, today is going to be good. I might just have some fun after all. Happy Hump Day.