Piss and Strawberries

Life is full of ups and downs. One moment you’ll be sitting on a silver-lined cloud, enjoying an episode of your favorite anime, with a nice round butt sitting on your lap and a slice of pizza in your hand and then…all of a sudden…the power goes out, the butt cuts a huge fart, and a bit of doodoo gets on your pepperoni and cheese pizza. That’s life. That’s just how this thing works.

But you have to learn to take the bad with the good. That anime was probably causing you unnecessary eye strain, because you were more than likely binging it. That butt on your lap was full of sexy bacteria that will give you pink eye and brown lip, so you should’ve been admiring it from a distance in the first place. And that poop matter that glazed that slice of pizza like a Krispy Kreme donut, just saved you from consuming a shit load of carbs and about 450 calories that were going straight to your thighs. So smile.

We, the people, should get used to drinking the piss along side the strawberries, because that’s exactly how life is going to serve it to most of us. Beautiful crimson strawberries, nice and chilled with a bit of chocolate and whip cream to dip them in, all stacked beside a tall glass of hot, salty, yellow, hobo-strained urine—that’s your value meal. So get your potassium and those unused, kidney-filtered minerals.

Once you learn that every handshake has a bit of doodoo on it, I promise you’ll be happier on all fronts. You can’t escape the bad, no matter how thick your rose colored glasses are. But there’s always a bit of good stapled to the back side of it. So embrace it, give it a little “reach-around” and enjoy yourself. This has been a Friday affirmation.

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