Good Tuesday, my friends. I hope you are all well rested from the hectic weekend, because it’s now time for me to teach you some trash. Sit up. Pay attention. And be sure to take notes, or not, you’re grown. Today is Art Class!
Leonardo DaCaprio, sorry, DaVinci is known across the world as a great scientist, artist, and engineer. He not only helped further biology, by being a creep and messing with bodies in mausoleums without proper permissions, he also helped pioneer some modern day technologies such as the tank and the helicopter. His paper and woodcraft version of the chopper was known as an Arial Screw. But one of his most notable accomplishments however was actually in the field of geometry. The Vitruvian Man looks like a piece of surrealist art where two men occupy the same space in different positions allowing only their arms and legs to differentiate from each other. However, this drawing was not to be seen as fine art at all. To win an argument concerning whether it was possible for a circle and a square to have the same area, DaVinci drew the diagram. The “perfect form” of the man shows that in different positions he can cover the same amount of space in both shapes. DaVinci was a regular smart ass. There are mathematical equations that could’ve been used to show this, but he really had it in for whomever the argument was started by.
And as a bonus, it’s not the only statue of David! The sculptor, Donatello also made a statue of David, albeit much smaller, and less nude. If you consider wearing a hat and boots to be less nude, that is. Truthfully, I feel like Donatello’s David is even more naked, for some reason. Maybe it’s the sword? Maybe it’s Goliath’s head beneath his feet? Maybe it’s Maybelline.
As a final lesson for the day, I’ll show you a piece of art that most people outside of the art industry rarely discuss. The Arnolfini Portrait is one of the most enigmatic paintings in existence, with scholars around the globe still trying to pick apart the many Easter eggs that Van Eyck hid within it. But for the sake of class, we’ll skip past the symbolism in the bed post and chandelier. We’ll overlook the dog and shoes on the floor. We’ll bypass the potatoes on the window seal. We’ll also not draw attention to the “step and repeat,” parallel pattern that the floor boards are laid in. Instead we will focus on the mirror in the center of the painting. Depending on how good your resolution is on your display, you might notice that Van Eyck actually painted himself, painting the actual painting, in the painting, itself!
That’s right, if you zoom in on the mirror, you will see the backs of the Arnolfini’s, and Van Eyck, “smiling” for the canvas. It’s notable because there were not many artist hiding themselves in the center of commissioned works back then. That’s like the wedding photographer being in the bride’s pics.
Anyways, I’m totally glad you showed up today. I hope we delivered the goods as we’ve been trying to do consistently as of late. If not, how about you smash that follow button and teach me and my friends a real lesson! Go ahead, my defenses are lowered.
“I love art so fucking much!” — Jae Davis