As it occurs, every single year, November the First has made its return in a big way! It showed up on the heels of October and some how snuck around the “pumpkin month,” and became the topic of our discussions. Despite being the month of filthy Scorpios and equally filthy Sagittarius’s, November isn’t all that terrible.
For the last couple years or so, I’ve participated in the wooly movement of “No Shave November!” In this annual celebration of all things scruffy, people take to the streets for thirty days of werewolf tryouts. We attempt to grow the hairiest, most scraggly, “chin-fro,” our DNA allows us to produce. We shed the shame of prepubescent jaw lines in search of a Herculean display of maximum masculinity in the form beards! We get rough. We get stank. We get grizzly!
Now there are plenty of ways to participate in this annual event, but we here at TTR follow a strict code with the most unyielding of guidelines. From November the first to November the last (30th), you are not allowed to shave down any mandible quills. For the sake of professional appearance, you are allowed to clean up the edges. That’s about it. I understand that these soviet era rules may be too much for some, but for those that can endure living under a prison-like regime for over 29 days, the reward is a thick, swarthy “overneck” that just won’t quit.
The photo at the top of the page will serve as my before picture. As my sexiness increases due to follicle augmentation, I will take pictures to document the transition. I will update TTR with my progress, every Friday of this month, with a before and after photo comparison on November 29th. The road ahead will be treacherous. I imagine most of us won’t make it through this season of testosterone brandishing. But as for me in my house, we will be bearded! Winter is coming! I’ve got a mother of dragons to impress. (For the record, I’ve never watched or been interested in Game of Thrones. I understand my last two sentences were an allusion to the show/book, but TTR does not care about any level of a Song of Ice and Fire. Fuck an Iron Throne!)
“They can take our chins, but they can’t take our beards!” — Brave Jae