Your voice took me by surprise. I almost didn’t recognize it. I’d been cast to the furthest reaches of your space, that your void—your absence is what became familiar. I stayed in that darkness. I made it my home.

I recently lied to you. With a timidly forced smile, and blurred eyes, I looked towards your question and answered, that I was “okay.” I told you that I was fine. I bit my lip and before it bled, I told you that I was good.

The truth is that I don’t have anything good to say. Every thought, every feeling, every intent—it’s all full of negativity. I think this is my natural state. I tried to step out of the moonlight for a bit of warmth but either I’m not welcome under the sun, or the moon refuses to let me go. The outcome is the same either way. The darkness has me.

I guess I’m back to embracing it.