I’m currently on a “smoke” break. I typically use this time to pick pocket my coworkers to see what neat little “knickknacks” I can find on them. I once found a wallet with a Sam’s Membership card in it. Can you believe that? It was just sitting there in this guys pocket, waiting to be picked. It’s amazing what people leave just lying around.

Today I’m doing something equally as deviant. I’m prancing around one of the warehouses, without shoes! I’m crazy. There’s forklifts and pallet jacks just roaming around freely, attacking all the unsuspecting toes, and here I am…wiggling my thick and stubbies like there’s no tomorrow. It’s the perfect bait to lure in a safety violation.

Honestly, there isn’t much else going on today. I killed my supervisor, so now the mission is on hold until they can replace him. Some of my coworkers are blaming me for their boredom. It’s like this. If supervisors don’t want to randomly be killed off, they shouldn’t place their necks so close to my knives! I mean, I’m certain we have a warning sign posted for that sort of stuff.

Anyways, I hope you readers have had a more productive day than I have. If not, keep trying. There’s still a few more hours of daylight available. Go bite someone. Go lick a water fountain. Rub your naked ass on the bottom step of the third floor of a hospital. Just do something. Don’t be a bump on a log.

Love you guys.