I hate my job. It’s no secret. I’m quite certain I’ve mentioned that irrefutable fact on more than one occasion. My job is hell—well it’s my personal version of it. Imagine working with a bunch of demons that you’re smarter than, then an even dumber demon is put in charge of you, while they report to an even dumber one? You try and find all these simple ways to make hell more comfortable and productive, but their demon mindset is hellbent on making progress and time move as slow as fuck. That’s my hell—to have my intelligence shackled and pissed on, while the demons in charge draw a squiggly pathway all over a perfectly straight road. Ugh.
So I took a vacation. I needed one. Who wouldn’t want to get out of hell and stretch their legs for a while? But vacations are a double edged sword. I left one hell to enter another, my own dark and twisted labyrinth that is my own head. Leaving my 9 to 5, left me in the middle of my 12 to 12, my dismal-ass thoughts. And let me tell you, these thoughts aren’t cotton Candy bunnies frolicking around the sour patch grasses of the sweet hills.
So needless to say, the first two days of vacation have been fraught with me trying to find distractions from myself. I’ve watched movies. I’ve grabbed a book. I’ve focused on the Xbox Series X, I’ll be picking up in a month. And soon, my awesome older brother will have countless brother tasks for me to complete.
This vacation from the world was necessary. Now I just have to focus on the vacation from myself, or, you know, maybe come to terms with the darkness residing in me by seeking alternative means of help that aren’t me simply telling myself to hide away from the world and brood in the silence of words typed across a pointless blog. But one of those is a bit too complicated and involved to take place during a vacation…lol.
Love you guys.
Live those hopes and dreams. You do have the will. It emanates from you! Sorry I’m so full of motivation today. LOL I can’t help it!