As I Live and Breath

Tomorrow is October 5, 2020. There’s nothing significant about the day. There’s nothing remarkable about it on my calendar. It’s just another Monday. It’s just another 24 hour event where I’ll find myself fake laughing, and lying through countless meaningless conversations with coworkers that don’t even know how to spell my name. It’s another day that I’m gonna waste on work, rather than doing what I feel like I was meant to be doing with this life of mine—writing.

I’ve figured it out. Nothing else matters to me. I don’t care about my job. I don’t care about the stresses of life. I don’t care about all the past failures of mine that have followed so closely behind me for years. I only care about what I create with this expansive vocabulary of mine. I only want to write. I only want to create stories and share them with every possible being on this planet.

But where do I start? This site was supposed to give me a creative outlet for writing, but relying on my own self-discipline to keep a steady posting schedule was a misstep on my part. I’m at work for 9 hours a day. I have a little kid at home that needs attention. Xboxes can’t play themselves. And I have to keep my obesity fed and happy. So where can I start?

Like many of you, I saw my answer in the last paragraph—quit the job and throw away the kid. Case closed! Just kidding. I suppose I need go back to my old ways and treat my writing like a hobby again. I was so bent on giving it more meaning, that I started treating it like a job. The result was me getting burnt out. So I dropped it. It was easy to quit, because I wasn’t getting paid for it in the first place. But if I demote it back down to hobby, I can jump on it during my downtime and not feel like I’m working more hours of my life away throughout my day.

I feel like it’s time that I make a lot of adjustments to my life. I’ve slowly been feeling the meaning of everything slipping away from me. I’m basically saying that everything has been slowly becoming meaningless. I’ve stopped caring about so many things. Turn on the Panic! At the Disco, because I’ve truly become an “emo.” Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I think I should start making it a life I actually want—a creative one. I’m about to put some paint on my dick or something. I gotta start somewhere.

Also, I’ve been participating in this social media event called #Drawtober. If you’re into anything artistic, you should really pop over to Instagram and Twitter and check out one or all of these hashtags listed below. You’ll find some really great pieces. You’ll also see some trash from yours truly. There’s something for everyone…including the raccoons. (Trash Joke)

Follow these hashtags

#inktober, #inktober2020, #drawtober, #drawtober2020, #blacktober, #blacktober2020, #ttrdoodles

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