To Whom this May Concern,
I’m currently enveloped in the solid black, embrace of the night, sitting in the coolest pose imaginable, on the side of my bed, writing this amazing ass message to you. The only thing I could add to make this moment even doper, would be an old record player, playing John Coltrane and Duke Ellington’s “In a Sentimental Mood,” while I narrate everything you’re reading. I’m cool as shit right now. I’m Smooth Criminal cool. Think of school…and then wonder why I’m not there. You’ll quickly realize it’s because I was too cool for it.
I’m high off of myself for no reason at all. And that’s my affirmation for you this week. Realize that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to everyone you encounter this week. Their life didn’t amount to ass before you graced their presence. You’re their morning coffee. You’re their emergency CPR. You’re their deep breath of good old, home grown, American oxygen. You’re amazing. Don’t bother giving yourself a round of applause, because everybody else is already doing it for you.
That’s not disco enough for you? How about this? You’re so fly, you should be in the sky with birds! You’re so damn fresh your mom considered naming you “produce.” If I had three wishes I’d wish to be you, three times.
Take this energy and own this whole week. Everybody is a fan! Your job doesn’t pay you to work, it pays you to just be there because it loves you. Don’t let the people down. Shine bright…like a goddamn laser…no…a Major Lazer. “Watch out for this.”
“This blog was not intended for Pixies that watch Brightburn without me.” — Jae Davis