Feelings. So deep in my feelings.

Today I’ll be attending my grandmother’s funeral. It’s currently 4am and I’m sitting beside my dreaming wife thinking about all the random things that occurred at my grandmother’s house. For instance, I remember when my uncle Ivan surprised us with this 3 Cheese Pizza from Pizza Hut. I mean, that was a common occurrence, but what made this time special was that my aunt, his wife, let my cousin, Adrienne, use her play kitchen plates to eat on. It’s a super insignificant moment in time, that I doubt my family remembers, but this was the type of stuff that occurred at that house.

I watched my cousin, Ieshia, speedrun levels on Mario 64 in my grandmother’s living room. I sat on the fireplace step and watched countless episodes of Super Market Sweep with my brothers. I refused butterbeans at the glass kitchen table. I watched my uncle eat burnt cheese from a skillet. I saw my aunt cry in pain in my grandmother’s recliner after dropping a tv on her foot. I saw my dad be a son. So many seemingly insignificant events unfolded at that house and my grandmother was there, sitting in her chair, witnessing them beside me.

This post actually has a dual purpose. When I first started The Thought Renaissance, one of its iterations was an online journal. It was going to be a place where I could tell my insignificant stories, my inappropriate musings, and my irrational thoughts. Somewhere in the mix, things became–well they became something else entirely.

I honestly didn’t think the passing of my grandmother would have much effect on me, but it’s 4am on the day of her funeral and I miss her. I wish I could jump into those insignificant memories of mine and interact with her as a child again. Adult Jae kind of sucks. Child Jamale was pretty awesome.

I hope you guys enjoy the changes that are coming down the pipeline. You’re still going to get that trademark sarcasm and whimsical viewpoints, but I honestly never cared about a lot of the stuff I’ve been posting. Well I go back and read that Chuck Norris post a lot, because that shit is still hilarious. But if you don’t like what I’m cooking, there are plenty of other online kitchens to visit.

You guys try to have a good day out there. I’ll do the same. I have to say, I don’t really like how many times I used the word “insignificant,” in this post, but it’s 4am. My editor mode doesn’t kick in until around noon. So, just try your best to deal with it today.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. — Dr. Seuss