It’s time again for another lesson to be learned by you all. I hope you prepared for today, because today’s curriculum is filled with the disheveling, the disturbing, and of course, the demonic. So clamp your asses tight to your broomsticks, because I’m about to take your minds on one hell of a ride.

First, we will start with the disheveling. For those of you who suffer from katsaridaphobia, this will be exceedingly disheveling for you. That’s right, this section is all about cockroaches!

Did you know that a female cockroach can mate one time, and literally be pregnant for life? That’s right…for the rest of her life she’ll cycle that cockroach sperm through her system and continue to pop out roach babies. How disheveling is that?

If that’s not enough for you, a cockroach can survive, headless, for up to a week! Don’t bother trying to starve it out, they can go up to a month without food and up to two weeks without water! Think you can outrun it? A cockroach can run approximately 3 miles an hour! And the most horrifying fact of all of these, cockroaches will bite and attempt to eat human flesh if they reach the point of starvation! Consider yourselves, disheveled!

So now let’s get you guys nice and disturbed! So, Halloween is known for the creepy, horrible, and sometimes, sinister. Did you know there was a murder that occur on this day? Well, that’s not that surprising considering all of the movies about that concept. But did you know that in 1974, there was a murder committed with candy on Halloween Night? Ronald Clark O’Bryan killed a child by lacing a Pixy Stick with cyanide. One crazy part about that is that the Pixy Stick was collected that night on a candy run, taken home, and then laced with poison. The more crazier part, was that the victim was his own son, whom he had taken trick or treating, collected the murder weapon with, and then used on! How fucking disturbing is that?

So finally, let’s go demonic! I’ll try and keep this lighthearted, because demons tend to be a touchy subject for people of a lot of various religions. So before you plead the blood of Jesus on TTR, I’ll stay away from the demonic lore of Catholicism. Instead, we’ll hop over to Japan and talk about something extremely creepy. The “shirime” is probably one of the most disturbing demons (yokai) I’ve ever heard of. Imagine this. You’re walking home on a crisp night. The wind chill is picking up so you’re raising your coat collar above your mouth trying to hold on to the warmth of your own breath. There is a thick fog hugging the ground, keeping it from your field of vision. All you can see is the subtle yellow lights of the road ahead, and the dense grey cloud that’s surrounding your feet. Suddenly, you hear a voice. The voice is coming from behind you, calling for your attention but not saying your name. You turn around to see a person on all fours, completely naked, crawling towards you backwards. Their exposed buttocks spreads open, revealing a large goat’s eye, flickering up and down, sizing you up. Once it has your attention, it crawls faster to reach you. The end.

How fucking creepy is that? That is the shirime! I’m not going to lie, I’ve never attempted to dive further into its lore, because I felt that it’s visage was enough reason to fear it. I don’t know what it does once it reaches you, but you are welcome to look into it yourself.

So I hope you found this class exceedingly macabre! Two more days until All Hollow’s Eve. Make sure you return tomorrow for more Macabre Mayhem!

“A lesser person would find all of this exceedingly terrifying. What’s below ‘lesser person?’ That’s me…lol.” — Jae Davis