Dear Reader,

First, let me just say that I chose this title as a way to be clever. For the three of you guys that don’t know, the umbilicus is the proper name for your belly button. Why did I choose that for a title? Well, it’s a common understanding that your belly button collects fibers from your clothing throughout the day and if you aren’t very anal about cleanliness, those fibers will collect over a period of time and form what we like to call lint. Why does that matter? Well, this post is about the catholic celebration known as Lent which is a homophone for lint and…well…as you can see that the path to that level of hilarity was both complex and worth it. Any fucking ways…I’m doing Lent.

So, full disclaimer. I’m not catholic. I am Christian, but I am not catholic. This event carries zero religious meaning for me. My coworker, however, is very catholic. So to make a long story short, during a casual conversation my coworker expressed how she had given up something for Lent and another coworker and I agree’d to participate.

So that brings us to the tightly coiled fibers of my own Lent participation. Since Wednesday of last week I have given up a number of things to test my fortitude. I have not eaten any red meat, I have not eaten any sweets, I have not played any video games, and I haven’t indulged in the sweet sticky past time of self gratification. That’s right, no steak, no key lime pie, no Anthem, and no making my own cinnamon roll glaze. How am I going to survive?

Truthfully, it hasn’t been very hard. I have this really dope pixie that helps keep me occupied. For those that aren’t familiar with super dope pixies…they are kinda like Nav’i from Legend of Zelda, except mine isn’t always screaming, “hey, listen!”

This hasn’t been without its issues though. Last Thursday I came home and stared at the walls. I didn’t realize how much of my life was dedicated to gaming. I typically sleep three to four hours a night and that is being made worse without having a video game to pad the timing before bed. I can’t fall asleep!

My other issue is that everyone seems to have cookies, cakes, and pies readily available. I didn’t realize that I lived in fucking candy land. Little Polly Poundcake is just throwing cookies and Doritos at me like dollar bills in a strip club…an Atlanta strip club…so…you know…lol.

Anyways, this was just a little update into what’s going on in my life right now. I’m eventually going to start updating you guys on how my book is coming along. Until then, try and be happy with this random gibberish.

(It’s 1:33am and I have to be to work at 7:30am, so I’m not proof reading this post. Enjoy the errors, nerd.)

“When we’re dancing…The night begins to shine…” — B. E. R.