Wipe that crust out of your eyes and get ready to choke this week to death. Look at you, all tired and feeling weak. You probably need more sleep, but you refuse to act like an adult and set a bedtime for yourself. But that’s fine, embrace the reckless and let’s see how far you can go this week.

For the next 6 days, I think you should focus purely on the fun of existence. Buy those shoes. Play that video game. Skip those afternoon work hours and go see Captain Marvel. Do whatever it is that makes you happy this week. All you want to eat is pizza and peanut butter? Shit…do it. Take that constipation head on and keep that smile of yours on full display.

Our lives are filled with work and obligations and schedules and boring ass shit like that. Sometimes it’s good to shake things up and just treat yourself to a bit of childish, immature, illogical fun. Yeah, it may be a little expensive. Yeah, you might not be able to eat lunch for the next week. Yeah, the little angel on your shoulder is telling you to be reasonable. Well, I say just push that little robed bitch on the ground and swipe that card to happiness. Tell those responsibilities you’ll get back to giving a damn next week. You have “diem” to “carpe!”

“U,” is for Uranium…bombs! — Sheldon Plankton