Guys. Okay, this is getting a little out of hand. We told you all that we were going to be closed today. It was right HERE. It clearly says that new content wasn’t going to be available until October 21, 2019. You just couldn’t stay away huh?

Well, truthfully, it’s kinda flattering that you didn’t want to keep your pretty little distance from us. We are smiling. This is a little embarrassing. You actually care about us!

Well, let us not make your visit a waste of time. Maybe, we can give you a little something to quench that thirst. We can see your leg twitching. We’ve noticed that you’re biting your lip a little bit. You want something.

So…how about a medley of random content? Yeah…we know how to “get you there.”

Ummm…let’s see. We can teach you something new. How about this? The smallest increment of time that can be measured is called a Planck Instant. It’s such a small amount of time that it cannot be perceived by the human eye or any mechanical device at the moment. Basically, it’s the amount of time it takes for a ray of light to stretch from one side of a hydrogen atom, to the other side of it—a Planck length. Well, the Flash actually moved faster than that in this one comic because he was racing some celestial deities on the edge of the universe, but that’s nerd stuff. But hey, now you know something about quantum mechanics!

That wasn’t enough for you? You want An Affirmation for the Day? Okay.

Today is going to be incredible. It’s Friday! You’re looking good as fuck. Nothing can touch you. You’re not weak ass Superman. You’re Martian Manhunter. You can fight a kryptonian and become intangible to anything that would try to do you harm. You’re Mr. and Mrs. Incredible. You’re about to do some real top level, CEO, Incredible Hulk level shit. You smash!

You still want more? How about this? No matter what you do today, just keep in mind that this post was 100% created for you, even after we said we weren’t going to post. We care that much about you. We want you happy, even if it means walking around with red eyes all day long. You’re special to us.

We’re gonna get back to work now. We hope we were able to make you smile a little bit though. If not, come back on the 21st of October and we’ll try all over again. Muah muah muah.

“My advice would be ‘take a breath, close your eyes and take a step.” — Jesse Glynne