Dear Friends,

So I recently committed a crime, a bad one. Full disclosure, it wasn’t my first time being a villain, but I definitely hadn’t let my more criminal nature show its self in quite a while. I have to be careful what I say in this post, because as I stated in a previous blog, I’m an agent for the US Government and some of my fellow, more reputable agents know about this website of mine.

So the crime could be boiled down to trespassing and theft in its rawest form. I located a mark and staked it out for a few days. Now, if you’re a seasoned criminal like myself, half of the decision making during a heist is gut instinct, while the other half is cold calculation. I waited until the spot was perfect. The security had been a little lapse the last few times I had rolled by. There wasn’t much to get in the way of the plan. My gut told me that the place was ready to be hit.

I had to calculate my moves though. I’m not one for being caught in the act, which is why I’m able to write this post from my iPhone, rather than a flip phone that my cell mate smuggled in via the old prison wallet, his ass. The receptionist was the only person that would’ve recognized that I didn’t belong there.

I lowered her defenses by getting her to leave her desk. Basically, I created a distraction to get her out of her zone. I played the innocent bystander card and told her there was a mess that needed to be addressed. Now, the place is pretty upscale, so I knew she’d rather address a mess rather than worry about the guy that brought it to her attention. She went to have it cleaned while I slipped right up the elevator.

The elevator ride was short and sweet. It had glass walls so I could scope out everything as I made my way to the upper floors. Then proverbial coast was clear.

When I reached my destination I had to blend into the crowd. I complained about the work day with a few people, said some random names, and pretended to be aloof to the people that could’ve destroyed the whole facade.

The heist was flawless. I found what I was looking for and grabbed it. I tried to grab more, but security was moving in, so I couldn’t press my luck.

It would’ve been a clean getaway. I made sure not to leave any fingerprints or markings on the scene. I was almost Scott free. Almost. At the end of the heist, I got greedy and ended up snagging myself on something sharp and left a little blood behind. I think it left a scar too.

Anyways, it’s been some time since I got away, but I’m still iffy about how the crime ended. I keep watching the clock to see if my impending doom is upon me. Will a detective show up asking all the right questions? Will I be caught? Will I lose everything?

More importantly, was it worth it? Fuck yes!

“If you must steal, steal away from bad company.” — Will Smith (Hitch)